So after some reflection about my last post I finally came to the conclusion that I could no longer attend the LDS church with my family. I broke the news to my husband. He seemed upset, but he didn’t argue with me.
I thought I wanted to attend the LDS church with my family even though I no longer believed – in an effort to maintain family unity, to not upset my kids, to not upset my parents, to not look like the “bad guy” of the family, etc. But I started feeling really resentful over this concession. I just couldn’t do it anymore and feel good about myself.
So I sat my kids down. We had already discussed some of the difficult topics of Mormonism (a general overview) a few months ago (polygamy, Book of Abraham, the Masonic temple ritual, the problems with the Book of Mormon, etc. ). I told them that these issues bothered me more than they bothered their dad, so I have decided to attend a different church (Unitarian) but they could still attend the LDS church with their dad. I told them that I still thought there were good people in the Mormon church and that good Mormon people will go to heaven, but I also believe that other good people will go to heaven too – including homosexuals and people of other faiths. So I am going to go to a church that shares this belief.
My son told me that I needed to pray about it and read the Book of Mormon. I assured him that I had already done these things. He asked me if I had a calling and I told him that I didn’t. He didn’t think that the problems with the church were good enough reasons to leave, but he agreed that he didn’t think homosexuals were bad people (this is a common belief among teenagers in the church). I knew it would upset my husband if I went in to any more detail about the problems with the church so I just left it at that.
My youngest two children didn’t seem to be as upset by the news, in fact my youngest child told me that she wanted to go with me to my church, which I will offer to my husband if he doesn’t want to deal with a young child at church by himself.
Anyway, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
Even though sometimes I feel alone in my journey away from the LDS church I know I am not alone – especially when I see recent news articles like these: Number of faithful Mormons rapidly declining. I am hoping that it is just a matter of time before all of the true information gets out to all of the members. There will still be some people who continue to believe – like my husband – but most who learn the truth will not.