At first I thought I could write every question I had about Mormonism in this blog, but now I realize that there are so many questions that I would become buried alive under the load. So instead, I will just bring up questions as the come up in my daily life. Most of the unanswered questions about Mormonism can be found at http://www.mormonthink.com/ . If you read the whole website you will have a good idea of the difficulties one would have to reconcile to continue to believe in the LDS church. However, it is not comprehensive and so I recently purchased the following books to learn more:
You may wonder why I didn’t purchase any early Mormon history books distributed by the church. The reason is because I have already read them all throughout my lifetime membership in the church. I have heard all the stories and I know the church’s viewpoint pretty well. I wanted to study the subject in depth from books written by historians and these books seemed to be a good overview. As I started reading; however, I quickly discovered that instead of answering questions, more questions were brought to the surface.
I have tried to discuss these things with my husband and he gets very defensive. He has started to read a little bit from my books, but he says they make him feel bad. I said that “Of course they do, because its like finding out there is no Santa Clause. Your whole identity is being messed with.” He said it was like finding out that your child is on drugs- it is a deep, sinking feeling that destroys your whole world view. He doesn’t like that, especially because Mormonism seemed to be working fine for him. He is also concerned that it discounts his spiritual experiences. I don’t think it does though. I think that God is forgiving of our ignorance and gives spiritual experiences to all those who are trying to seek Him and his spirit.
The question is why would you feel so bad when learning the truth and feel so good when learning a lie? Perhaps it is because truth is hard. The fairy tale is always more beautiful, inspiring and sunny than real life. The hero always rushes in at the right time. Everything is glossy and smooth. People survive on imagination and stories. As I said before, illusions can be healthy to a point, but overall the truth needs to come out.
I have a friend that owns the Book: Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling but she refuses to read it. Her husband read it and told her not to, so she won’t. Similarly my husband won’t seek out information on the early Mormon church history. He doesn’t want to know.
But for me, hiding from knowledge and truth when you know it is out there is simply not acceptable.