Resisting and Hiding From Knowledge and Truth

At first I thought I could write every question I had about Mormonism in this blog, but now I realize that there are so many questions that I would become buried alive under the load. So instead, I will just  bring up questions as the come up in my daily life. Most of the unanswered questions about Mormonism can be found at . If you read the whole website you will have a good idea of the difficulties one would have to reconcile to continue to believe in the LDS church.  However, it is not comprehensive and so I recently purchased the following books to learn more:

Mormon Enigma: Emma Hale Smith

An Insider’s View of Mormon Origins

In Sacred Loneliness: The Plural Wives of Joseph Smith

No Man Knows My History: The Life of Joseph Smith

Studies of the Book of Mormon

Standing For Something More: The Excommunication of Lyndon Lamborn

David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism

View of the Hebrews 1825

One Nation Under Gods: A History of the Mormon Church

Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling

You may wonder why I didn’t purchase any early Mormon history books distributed by the church. The reason is because I  have already read them all throughout my lifetime membership in the church. I have heard all the stories and I know the church’s viewpoint pretty well. I wanted to study the subject in depth from books written by historians and these books seemed to be a good overview. As I started reading; however, I quickly discovered that instead of answering questions, more questions were brought to the surface.

I have tried to discuss these things with my husband and he gets very defensive.  He has started to read a little bit from my books, but he says they make him feel bad. I said that “Of course they do, because its like finding out there is no Santa Clause. Your whole identity is being messed with.” He said it was like finding out that your child is on drugs- it is a deep, sinking feeling that destroys your whole world view.  He doesn’t like that, especially because Mormonism seemed to be working fine for him. He is also concerned that it discounts his spiritual experiences. I don’t think it does though. I think that God is forgiving of our ignorance and gives spiritual experiences to all those who are trying to seek Him and his spirit.  

The question is why would you feel so bad when learning the truth and feel so good when learning a lie? Perhaps it is because truth is hard. The fairy tale is always more beautiful, inspiring and sunny than real life. The hero always rushes in at the right time. Everything is glossy and smooth. People survive on imagination and stories. As I said before, illusions can be healthy to a point, but overall the truth needs to come out.

I have a friend that owns the Book: Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling but she refuses to read it. Her husband read it and told her not to, so she won’t. Similarly my husband won’t seek out information on the early Mormon church history. He doesn’t want to know.

 But for me, hiding from knowledge and truth when you know it is out there is simply not acceptable.

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4 Responses to Resisting and Hiding From Knowledge and Truth

  1. BOMC says:

    Will compare the church with the Book of Mormon?

  2. AdamF says:

    My parents, who are both currently serving a temple mission, have both read Rough Stone Rolling, and they loved it. I read it (it took a while, it’s kinda thick) and really enjoyed it. I have many friends and family members who have read and embraced it. It’s sold at DESERET BOOK for crying out loud. To validate your experience, however, I have run across a few who have not wanted to read it, but I think this is the minority. My wife is currently reading JS’s bio by his Mother, which is a must-read that I think most members probably haven’t even read, as crazy as that is.

    Anyway, I have not read the entire list you gave, but I have read the McKay book (again, my Dad gave me that one), and I have Mormon Enigma, In Sacred Loneliness, and No Man Knows My History on my bookshelf at home. So many books, so little time. 🙂

  3. BOMC says:

    Unless he (Joseph) is measured by the Bible or the Book of Mormon, the errors that should matter, viz., child baptism, alleged monopoly on the Holy Spirit, church, and authority will be obscured.

    Whoso shall declare more or less than this (Book of Mormon) and establish it for my doctrine, the same cometh of evil…and the gates of hell stand open to receive such. (3 Nephi 11:40)

    If you ever testified to the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, you will be held by whether you followed it. Something to think about.

  4. Shannon says:

    I was born into the LDS religion. My family is very strong in the church. I haven’t enjoyed it since I graduated high school. I took my kids to church in fear of judgment in the afterlife. I married outside of the temple and my husband is not LDS so church was more like hearing how I wasn’t blessed. I have no idea why I stayed so long. It was time to baptize my oldest when the church told the world about Joseph Smith marrying a teenager. So I put my fears of “anti-Mormons” aside and started to search. I felt howyou described so lost. It was the worst feeling not having a belief anymore. I told my husband, he was happy of course. But my family is not. I felt so guilty I almost went back. But then I read what pulled me away and I will never go back. I am finally starting to understand Christianity and realize there are other churches that are non denominational, that are what I have been wanting all my life. It is hard to be around my family though because that is what their life is centered on.

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